RecoveringNostalgic

Homing Cardinal?

Surrounded by trees in a quiet cul-de-sac, we are quite used to the sounds of nature – like the playful tweeting of small birds and even the very high-volume chirping of crickets in the evenings. It was the 1st week of May, and this year we barely recovered from the nasty, lingering winter. Uma and I woke up to the constant rhythmic tapping. My first thought was that the pesky woodpecker is back. The one that made holes in our wooden eaves and overhangs a couple of years ago. After I walked around the house and found no woodpeckers, I came back in and could still hear the knocking. As I was passing by the family room, I saw the culprit! A little bird with a red beak was furiously jabbing at the giant glass window! When I got closer, it saw me and flew away. I didn’t pay much attention to it and got busy with my daily routine. The next morning, the knocking was back – at around 6:00AM! I came down and confirmed that it was the same bird. Guess what? After almost 3 hours, it was still at it! Knocking away or sometimes just violently flinging itself at the windows as if it were intent on breaking the window down! The bird kept doing this every day, for several hours a day! Uma and I felt bad for the poor bird. We wanted to find ways to discourage it. Uma thought of tying shiny/colorful mylar balloons on the outside. A similar strategy worked for the aforementioned woodpecker. We had put up shiny ribbons on the eaves at that time, and that did it!

We promptly picked up 3 helium-filled mylar balloons and tied them on the outside, near the windows. The balloons were flailing, but seemed to be sufficiently distracting to have done the job. Unfortunately, the balloons only lasted two days! I have never seen them get deflated so quickly. Such balloons used to last up to 2 weeks. It seems that there is an acute shortage of helium because of the war with Iran. So it’s possible that they filled it with something else (this is my conspiracy theory and I am sticking by it 😊)

Cardinal vs window!

Soon after, the bird was back with full vigor. I felt terrible for the poor thing! Whatever is it’s deal? Why this obsession with coming into our house? We’ve been in the house for over 20 years and never experienced anything like this. I promptly resorted to Google and ChatGPT for answers, as one does, these days!

First, a couple of photos of the bird were fed into the search engine, which identified it as a female Northern Cardinal, with its characteristic thick orange-red beak and short crest. While doing this, I suddenly remembered about the only other time we had a bird encounter in this house (besides the woodpecker one) was exactly 3 years ago.

Flashback

Birds don’t enter my kitchen voluntarily (for fear of ending up in tandoori something or other)! But, back in May 2023, one day I came down into my kitchen and heard the chirping of birds IN THE KITCHEN!! After some quick detective work, I figured out that a bird entered the external opening of the kitchen exhaust hood and felt comfortable enough to start a family right there in the duct. I realized that instead of leaving from the vent to the outdoors, the hatchlings fell into a vertical shaft behind the wall!

Operation Bird Rescue

It took my friend Jagadeesh and me over 2 hours to rescue four of the babies and pull out one of the dead ones. I used my iPhone in video mode in one hand, to look and maneuver the vacuum suction hose with the other hand to grab the chicks! Now I know exactly how a Gastroenterologist doing an endoscopy or colonoscopy feels . A couple more dead ones were stuck there for a few more weeks, till I could devise clever McGyverish techniques to pull them out! Meanwhile, the mama bird was relentless, and it kept trying to come in and start another family, till I sealed the outside flap with a makeshift mesh and put an end to its ambitions.

Thinking about this incident from 2023, I realized that there is a strong possibility that this current cardinal was one of the four that I had rescued three years ago. It turns out that the lifespan of such Cardinals is 3-5 years, which matches perfectly with the 2023 adventure. Also, I found out that many birds have an instinctive drive – known as natal philopatry, to return to the exact area where they were born. Bingo! This makes perfect sense now!

Natal Philopatry in humans?

I am the middle child in our family. My brother, who is 1 year older, was born at a hospital in Hyderabad. My younger sister was born in a hospital as well. For some reason, it was decided that I should be born at home in my mom’s native village. It was an all-natural delivery, assisted only by a rural midwife. No anesthesiologist to give an epidural. In fact, no doctors of any kind were in attendance. This was my grandmother’s house in PT Parru, where I had spent my early years and also many summer holidays. We all have very fond memories of this house and the village itself. I was very attached to my grandmother. After my grandmother and aunt passed away, and the cousins spread out, there is no one from our family in that village.

In 2020, when our extended family visited Hyderabad for a short visit, we had 24 hours to make a quick round trip from Hyderabad to Uma’s village to visit relatives and introduce Shivam to the refreshing countryside. On the way, we were passing by PT Parru (my mom’s native place). Even though we were tight on time, I insisted that we take the short detour into the village.

We walked around the house where I was born in 1961. I wondered if it’s ok to go in and introduce ourselves to the current owners and ask to take a quick peek inside, maybe take a few selfies. I wanted my daughters and son-in-law to see the place where I was born! In fact, I was disappointed that there were no big signs on the main road that said, “Next 2 exits to Yash Punati’s birthplace”! 😞 . We finally entered the house and explained to the puzzled lady the reason for this intrusion into their house. While she clearly did not seem to grasp how big a deal this was for me, she was gracious and welcoming. We took a few photos and savored the moments before heading on to the next village. While I could not spell the exact reason why I was so eager to get into that house back then, now, thanks to this little bird and Google, I know that it is definitely natal philopatry at work… 😊

Epilogue

It’s been almost 2 months since the cardinal started knocking on our window. Guess what? It still comes every day and knocks on the big windows for a few hours throughout the day! At this point, I am feeling like I should just leave the doors open, be gracious and let it come in, and maybe even let it bring its family, like what that lady in PT Parru did for us. What’s the harm if I let it take a few selfies and post them in its extended family WhatsApp groups? 🤷🏼

Oops! I Did It Again!

Singapore noodles have been an integral part of our Chinese takeout orders for years. Along with hot and sour soup and Kung Pao chicken, they form a perfect trifecta of Chinese goodness that we crave regularly. Those delicious rice noodles—loaded with chicken, shrimp, and vegetables, coated in that oily, deep yellow turmeric-curry goodness—are our favorite for very good reason!

That day, it was my turn to reheat leftovers from Eastern Dragon for lunch. Uma was upstairs working. I pulled the big bowl of the aforementioned noodles out of the microwave, while mentally juggling multiple thoughts—an upcoming work meeting, whether I should have heated the soup first (because that’s clearly the proper sequence for a Chinese meal, right?), or perhaps even how to bring peace to the Middle East.

And then… it happened.

The bowl slipped.

There was a loud crash.

Singapore noodles—everywhere.

The bowl shattered into a million sharp pieces. The kitchen floor was instantly transformed into an unholy yellow disaster zone.

“Oh no… what did I just do?”

Uma yelled, “What happened?” and came running downstairs. I braced myself for some serious yelling—which, to be fair, would have been entirely justified if you had seen the scene.

This, however, was not my first rodeo.

Growing up in Hyderabad, India, one of my regular chores as a 10–12-year-old was to walk a few hundred yards to a poultry farm and bring back eggs. There was no nice paved road—just rocky terrain. Over the years, there were at least 3–4 occasions when I dropped the entire box and came home crying.

The crying was strategic.

After all, what parent would scold a child who is already crying?

Then there was the summer at my grandmother’s village. She used to milk buffaloes and sell the excess to the village dairy cooperative. One day, she entrusted me with the important responsibility of delivering a full aluminum can of milk.

Based on the pattern so far, you probably know what happened next.

Yes. I dropped it.

The can dented. The milk spilled. I became distraught.

The folks at the dairy kindly consoled me: “Don’t cry over spilled milk… 😉 we won’t tell your grandma.”

Of course, this was a small village. Everyone knew everyone. She knew before I even got home.

That’s the day she gave me my nickname: “Oti chethulu” which loosely translates to “butter fingers.”

Fast forward to the present day… or rather, that day with the Singapore noodles.

I was honestly shocked by how calmly Uma handled the situation. No yelling. No dramatics. She just quietly got to work cleaning up the mess. It took a long time. I mostly stayed out of the way, careful not to make things worse by stepping on oily noodles and spreading the disaster further.

When it was all done, she simply said, “Just be mindful next time when you’re carrying these bowls.”

That was it.

I felt terrible—not just for dropping lunch, but for creating so much extra work for her. Right then and there, I took a solemn vow: this would never happen again.

I actually wrote most of this piece last Wednesday. Then I took a short break… to heat up lunch.

Yes. I did it again! Grrrrrgh

This time, it was Indian curry. Mixed with sharp ceramic shards. Spread beautifully across the kitchen tiles.

Good lord!

This is no longer an accident. This is a pattern.

With all my mishaps, I could have done PhD-level research!

At this point, I have three observations and one request:

First, the tiles we chose for our kitchen 20 years ago are remarkably resistant to turmeric stains. Extremely reassuring.

Second, Uma used to be very particular—borderline obsessive—about cleanliness. Not anymore. I sometimes wonder if my repeated “incidents” have slowly desensitized her. Just saying… 😊

Third, whatever she’s doing for anger management—yoga, breathing exercises, or some advanced spiritual discipline—is working brilliantly. She should absolutely continue.

And finally, a request:

Does anyone know where we can find those classic CorningWare dishes with the floral patterns and handles?

We seem to be running out of them… for some reason. 😀

Our Very Own Radio Days!!

<This article was published in TANA Patrika in December 1994. It was restored from an old PDF for the benefit of a generation that has fond memories of those AIR days>

It all started when my wife asked me if I could suggest any new songs for her to sing at the upcoming Diwali function. There was this song “vandanam.. vandanam… giri nandini priya nandana…” residing in some deep crevices of my brain, which we had learnt from the (then) popular light music program on the radio called “Ee Maasapu Paata” (song of the month). While trying to recollect this song, I started thinking about all the good AIR (All India Radio) programs we used to enjoy as kids.

Our “Phillips” had a special place in the house – atop an ornate box (which held dirty laundry!). It would be ON from the time AIR signature tune went out till everybody left home for school/office (around 8:00AM). I remember a time when we had to pay Rs. 15.00 per year as a license fee for owning a radio! Yes, my dad showed me the little passport-sized booklet, with the big stamp (which was the license). This practice was later discontinued when the AIR people discovered the concept of advertisements to raise revenue.

Walter Kaufmann’s AIR signature tune

“Ee Maasapu PaaTa” – by Chittaranjan was one of our favorites. In this program, he used to teach one song (“Lalitha Sangeetham”) per month to his students (and the audience). It was ON in the mornings (on a weekday), therefore, we only heard most of these songs while getting ready for school. Nevertheless, they made such an indelible impression on my mind that I remember some of the popular ones even today (approximately 20 years after I first heard them!). Another popular program (at least in our household) was “Sanskruta PaaTam” – by Kesavapanthula Narasimha Sastry. In our curriculum, we had Sanskrit from 5th to 7th grades, and this program helped us quite a bit. This Sanskrit lesson used to begin with a beautiful “Subhasitham” :

“Kaeyura na vibhooshayanthi purusham

na hara na chandrojwala

Ksheeyanthe su bhooshanaani sathatham

Vaakbhooshanam bhooshanam”

On weekends, everyone’s routine revolved around the radio program. The Saturday morning Suprabhatam could be heard from every house in the colony. I got so used to that version of the Suprabhatam that M.S.Subbulakshmi’s version sounded harsh when I heard it later. Remember the “christava bhakti geetaalu” on Sunday Mornings? “Yesu nee naamaamrutham maakentha ruchi ayya”. It sounded like Jikki, but I am not sure. Also, you probably remember “Sree hanumanu guru devudu naa yeda..” (i.e, Sundarakaandam) by M.S. Rama Rao in the mornings.

In those days (early 70’s), “Baalaanandam” and “Baalavinodam” were the most popular programs for kids. Baalavinodam was for the younger kids and was on Saturday afternoons. As a member of the Venkata Ramana Colony Baalaananda Sangham, I had the privilege of participating in this program on a couple of different occasions. Once, I was a cast member of a serial drama (“Sri Krishna Leelalu”), which was on Baalavinodam for a few Saturdays. Since Saturdays were school days, I had to make arrangements at school to listen to the drama. I approached Seshagiri Rao sir – our Hindi teacher – and boasted to him about this great role that I played on the radio drama, and convinced him to bring his transistor (radio) to school so we could all listen to it. My character did not show up in the first two episodes, but I was maha thrilled to hear my name in the “Paatralu Paatradhaarulu” list. I have a feeling that Seshagiri Rao sir started to doubt the importance of my “paatra” in this drama when the list ended with -Kamsudu – Srinivas, Devaki – Gouri, mariyu.. Narendar, Yashodhar, Ravi. Finally, the third Saturday was my BIG day!! I appeared in multiple roles on this day – Once, as a soldier who responds to the “Yevarakkada?” and also as a part of the crowd that rushes to the lake to watch Krishna do his dance on “Kaaleeya”-the snake. I was quite impressed with my performance. From the looks on their faces, my Hindi teacher and the other kids did not share this opinion!

I was a big fan of “Baalanandam” on Sunday afternoons. I was a proud member of the studio audience (yeah!) of this great program on one particular Sunday, and bragged about it for quite a while! Ravuri Bharadwaja was the “Radio Annayya”. Nyayapati Raghavarao & Nyayapati Kameswari were the original “Radio Annayya and Radio Akkayya”. Later, they founded Andhra Baalananda Sangham in Narayanguda, Hyd. They enjoyed being with kids and were extremely popular with them. I had a chance to meet them briefly at one of the competitions conducted by Andhra Baalananda Sangham. That day in the studio, Ravuri Bharadwaja (with his black coat) looked a lot like Mujibur Rehman, I thought. He was a tough disciplinarian in that studio. Well, he had to be, or else he would have had a riot with all those kids! That was my lucky day, because I found out that we would be going on the ever-popular tour of the “Milk Pasteurization Plant” (“paala saraphara kendram”). Those days, this tour was ON once every couple of months or so. It was a “staple” of the Baalanandam program – much like the “rat eradication” program (“Yelukala Nivaarana”) – on early Doordarshan programs. Anyway, I was all psyched up for the bus tour to the plant when I found out that they just play a pre-recorded tour. Boy, was that a letdown! After the tape ended, Mr. Bharadwaja said “mmm mmm Aaa rose milk yentha baagundho!” – to provide continuity, and to make it sound like we (everybody in the room) just returned from the tour. “You are not fooling anyone,” – I said to myself. But when I got home, everybody (including the adults) was asking me how the tour was, and saying how lucky I was to have gone on the day of the tour.

Even as a child, I was a big fan of “Naatakaalu”. The 3:00pm to 4:00pm time slot on Sundays (immediately following Baalaanandam) had the best Naatakaalu. I would stand no more than a foot away from the radio as though the thrill would be diluted if I got any more comfortable (on the chair, or the “navvaru mancham” in that room!). I used to enjoy all kinds of dramas, but for some strange reason – I only remember the following two names now – “Neellu raani kallu” and “Asamardhuni Jeevayaatra”. I used to idolize the talented “radio artistes such as Nanduri Vittal, Jyotsna, Ilyas, Sharada Sreenivasan, Banda Kanakalingeswara Rao, Jeedigunta Ramachandra Murthy, Ravi Verma, Akella Subbaraya Sarma, etc. I always wondered how these people looked in real life.

AIR Hyderabad’s audio drama : Kanyasulkam

Do you remember the “sankshipta sabdha chitram”? Abridged, soundtracks of movies broadcast in this time slot on every 3rd Sunday instead of the drama. It is surprising how they would fit a 2.5-hour movie into 1 hour. I “saw” quite a few movies this way! In fact, when I watched “Bullemma Bullodu” – starring Chalam, later, it was very similar to the way I imagined it would be, from the radio soundtrack!

How about “meeru kOrina paaTalu? Sometimes it would take the DJ 2-3 minutes or more to read off the names of people who requested a particular song. My sister and I were quite keen listeners to this program. We had come to the conclusion that a particular town in Karimnagar district (I can’t quite recollect the name now) had a cottage industry of people whose sole purpose in life was to write letters to this “meeru kOrina paaTalu” to request some songs. It is no exaggeration to say that every single show had at least one letter from this town. Of course, all this was before tape recorders (and now VCRs) were popular. Sometimes the announcer would read the first few names from the card and then, to the utter disappointment of the 20 others on the letter, would end by saying “Venkata Rao, Subbamma, Venkaiah… thadhitharulu” or “Venkata Rao, Subbamma brundham”.

Even though we kids never paid attention to the various news reports on the radio, the distinct styles and accents of the newscasters ring in my ears even to this day – “Aakaashavaani, Vaarthaloo chaduvuthundi Yedida Gopala Rao” or “Addanki Mannar” or “Maamillapalli Raajyalakshmi.” Then there was the “Kaarmikula Kaaryakramam” on Sunday afternoons featuring Baalayya (Sri Jeedigunta Ramachandra Murthy), Ekambaram, and Chinnakka (Smt Rathanprasad), conveying useful information to the workers through funny skits. Also, there were the regular announcements and filler programs like “Nilaya vidwaamsula vaadya ghosti” – Instrumental music by the resident (AIR) musicians.

As you would have guessed by now, I miss the fine programs on AIR. I miss them a lot!! From my vacation trips back to Hyderabad, I realized that radio does not enjoy the huge popularity it used to when we were young. The reason, of course, is obvious. Television, with all of its obvious advantages, has stifled a fine medium.

As we used to mimic the announcers at the end
of a program, “inthatitho eenaaTi kaaryakraman samaptham”

My First Love!

In 1974, I was 13 years old when television first arrived in my hometown in India. It was black and white and had just a couple of hours of programming, primarily targeting the farmers. We were thrilled that they had one movie every week! We were a typical middle-class family, so buying a TV wasn’t quite a priority for us, back then. So every week, we’d go to my friend Ravi’s house to watch the movie. The entire neighborhood would show up, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder. This is when I first discovered shows like “Different Strokes” and “I Love Lucy”, and thought, “Wow, I wonder if America has more sitcoms like this!”

Fast-forward to 1983 — I arrived in Iowa for grad school, and the number of TV channels here just blew my mind. It was like taking a starving man to a buffet. Almost immediately, I made it my mission to watch every single show. I soaked up American pop culture like I was training for a future “80s trivia night”! I’m still surprised that I actually graduated! I mean, how could you study when “The Jeffersons” were “movin’ on up” and Jack Tripper was rooming with Janet and Cindy?

I loved that there was a glossy 20-30 page TV Guide! Every week, I’d mark my favorite shows with a yellow highlighter, as if it were one of my textbooks. My lineup included old Bob Hope movies, Groucho Marx, and sitcoms galore — Andy Griffith, Barney Miller, Three’s Company, Family Ties, and “Sanford and Son”. My GPA was dropping, but my pop-culture IQ was through the roof!

When I got my first job, my first big purchase wasn’t furniture or a car. It was a 19-inch Sony Trinitron. That TV was my best friend. My only friend, actually. If you ask me about Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where I lived back then — I have no idea what it looked like outside. I never left my apartment! My evenings followed a sacred ritual: News, Jeopardy!, Wheel of Fortune, and then one sitcom after another, all the way through Johnny Carson and Nightline with Ted Koppel. Five hours a night! Every-single-night!

Then, in 1988, I moved from Iowa to Pennsylvania — 1,000 miles in my little Toyota Corolla, carrying all my worldly possessions: two suitcases, a Panasonic vacuum cleaner (which still works, by the way), and my first love — Sony. The following year, my wife, Uma, arrived from India. We had an arranged marriage, and she quickly discovered that I was already in a relationship. Within days, she accused me: “You spend more time with that TV than with me!” She was right. I would spend hours staring lovingly at that screen and maybe ten minutes talking to her. But hey, Jeopardy with Alex Trebek was a serious commitment! Our first few fights were about the TV. She’d say, “You’re not interested in me!” and I’d say, “But honey, this is a very special episode of Cheers – when Diane finally says Yes to Sam Malone!”

A small subset of the shows that kept me entertained!

Over time, Uma successfully weaned me off my addiction. We did watch a few shows together — LA Law, Cheers, and The Cosby Show. When the kids came along, Uma decided that the TV needed to go… to the basement. Not just any basement — an unheated basement. You had to really want to watch TV to go down there. At the time, I thought, “This is cruel and unusual punishment.” But honestly, it worked. The kids didn’t grow up glued to screens, and we actually talked to each other. What a concept!

Years later, once the kids left home, we decided (mostly I) to get a TV for the family room again. Now we have streaming, YouTube, and a million shows — and I find myself scrolling through social media feeds on my phone and flipping through channels while Uma is reminding me about taking the trash out, etc., etc. What can I say, I am good at multitasking! 😊

How it started and how it’s going! Nostalgia-evoking Doordarshan Signature tune composed by Pt. Ravi Shankar

When I look back at my journey — from Johnny Carson to David Letterman to Arsenio Hall to Colbert and Kimmel — I realize how lucky I was not to have had these distractions growing up. If I’d had Netflix in 1974, trust me, I would still be in high school. That’s why I have so much respect for today’s kids. They’re surrounded by every distraction imaginable — smartphones, tablets, TikTok — and some of them still manage to study and get good grades. That’s definitely superhero stuff! 👌🏾

So, parents — my advice: be like Uma, not like me. Keep the screens away. Maybe even stick the TV in the cold basement — or whatever the equivalent of that is for smartphones! While my first love was my 19-inch Sony Trinitron, my real love, the one who rescued me from it, is right here, reminding me (again) that I forgot to pay the bills!

Oh Deer!

Uma was seriously bummed out! She had been out watering her favorite flowering plants—a few annuals that she had planted just a week ago. She came in very upset because overnight some deer came in and chewed off a few of her begonias and petunias. That really is a shame, as these plants give out beautiful flowers throughout the summer and fall with very little care.

Newly planted flowering annuals

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Our family comes from the Guntur region of Andhra Pradesh in India. This region is known worldwide for the hot chili peppers grown there. Our grandparents and uncles used to farm these. I have fond memories of my grandmother arriving at our place in Hyderabad with copious quantities of assorted pickles and spice powders made with these Guntur chilies. One of my favorites was uppu mirapakaaya, which translates to Salted Chili Peppers. These are made by soaking green chilies in buttermilk and salt, and then drying them under the sun. When ready to use, they are deep-fried and then served on the side as an accompaniment to sambar rice or yogurt rice.

I can guarantee you that if you open the luggage of the Indians streaming in through JFK or Newark airport daily by the thousands, you will see that a big fraction of it is homemade pickles! No… these pickles have nothing to do with cucumbers at all! They mostly resemble the Chili oil you see in Chinese restaurants and can burn holes in your intestines if you do not have the appropriate South Asian cast-iron stomach for them!

Mango pickle – circa 2015 and Gunpowder – 2012

When I first brought them with me in 1983, the oil that leaked from the mango pickle made such a mess that I was afraid they would kick me back to India right then and there! Since then, India has progressed a lot in pickle-packaging technology. For the last 25 years, we have been bringing these pickles and powders in thick plastic bags that have been sealed tightly, and never once have they failed and ruined a suitcase full of clothes. The only problem with bringing massive quantities of these (lovingly packed by our parents, who must think that we eat these pickles 3 times a day, every day) is that we now have piled up packets of these, methodically cataloged by Uma (with name and year). If I am not wrong, we are still working on our 2015 supply of mango pickle, while more recent supplies are patiently waiting their turn.

Uma vs Bambi

This morning, as I stepped out for my walk, I was surprised to see a yellow powder sprinkled around the annuals in the garden. Upon close examination, I realized that this was the crushed Uppu Mirapakaaya powder. That was brilliant! Uma confirmed that she opened up a package from the 2006 vintage and decided to try this home remedy in the hope that it would work and gently coax the deer to move along to the neighbor’s yard. I sure hope that it works as well.

My worry is that word will spread far and wide through the deer family WhatsApp groups that now the tender plants come with a side of yummy imported hot and spicy condiment, and we will end up with a horde of deer feasting on the begonia buffet!

What these deer don’t know is that Uma has a backup arsenal of deadly pickles that have been marinating in airtight plastic bags since 2004 – Aavakaaya (Mango), Usiri kaaya (Gooseberry), Tomato, Ginger! If these don’t work, next it will be an unrelenting barrage of Sambar kaarum, Goddu kaarum, and the appropriately named – Guntur gunpowder!

I thank the deer for nudging Uma towards this spring cleaning of the fridges, thereby making room for more supplies to be imported from Guntur on our next trip.

Speller Alert!

On the eve of the Spelling Bee finals (100 year anniversary of the Bee) the following vignette will do nothing to dispel the stereotype that Indians are born with an innate ability to spell. 😊

Back in 1985, when I was working in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, I was at work late one night on a particularly boring task and so was listening to music on the radio. This FM radio station had a popular contest. You had to be caller number 7 (or some such random number) and then had to answer their question of the day, like, “Who won the World series in 1968” or “What was the top of the country music charts in 1977” etc. That day as the stars lined up in my favor, it was none of these. If you were the lucky caller number 9 and could spell a word given by the DJ, you would win the special prize! I couldn’t believe that a radio station had a “made-for-Indians” contest such as this! That too on a fricking FM station and not NPR (National Public Radio)!

I felt like Cliff Clavin on Jeopardy when every category was in his favor

As luck would have it, I was that caller and was thrilled to make use of my latent GRE vocabulary knowledge! On the AIR that late evening, the word sounded like “Pulcreetude”! I vaguely remembered hearing it before. This was not Scripps Howard Spelling Bee, which meant the meaning of the word or language of origin etc. would not be given. I just took a chance and spelt – “P U L C H R I T U D E”, haltingly. When the DJ announced with lot of fanfare and FM radio sound effects that I had won, I just could not believe it! Oh Wow!

So, what did I win? A Neil Diamond Vinyl LP Record! Yesss! I was a huge fan of Neil Diamond, from the time when my best friend introduced me to his “Hot August Night” album, when we were in High School. His deep voice painted an amazing and beckoning portrait of “Brooklyn Roads” and America itself in “Coming to America” when I was a just a young boy roaming the “Hyderabad Roads”! Next day I rushed to the station and picked up the record and had a blast showing it off at work. My friends and colleagues were super impressed with my ability to spell such a difficult and uncommon word (meaning “beauty”). Some were jealous about this special skill I had, which unbeknownst to all of us at that time was going to be made obsolete by spellcheck, ten years later! BTW, I did not actually own a record player, and so, was happy to gift my contest winnings to my boss, who, as it turned out, was also a huge Neil Diamond fan!

On looking back, I now feel like that first Kenyan guy who won the marathon, just because he was bored and decided to give this running thing a try! 😊

Seriously though, if you feel we Indians are genius spellers because of our genes, get a load of these hilarious signs from India 😄 :

Backyard Chainsaw Circumcision?

Those branches had it coming! They should have known that I have been sitting (figuratively)on a well-oiled Homelite chainsaw that’s been itching to cut into something! Sure, the last time I tried to use it to cut some branches, the retaining ring and the associated washer that kept the chain in place flew off and dislodged the chain. Then I had to spend a good 2 hours brushing through the grass with a magnet in the hopes of finding these needles-in-a-haystack. In any case, I finally managed to put it all together with the help of spare parts that I found on Amazon with great difficulty.

The branches of these backyard trees had been a nuisance for a while and I had to do tricky maneuvers while mowing the lawn, in order to not get poked in the eyes.

Today was a perfect sunny day for me to take care of it. So, I managed to run the long power cord to that area and fire up the chainsaw, and was happy that it started easily (considering the trouble I had with it the last time). I quickly cut the small branches and the chainsaw was going through these like a hot knife through butter. I was just about to declare victory on one of the thicker branches, when the weight of the bending branch jammed the chain. Yikes! That’s when it occurred to me that a professional would have cut from the top and not from below, while standing under it! Duh! 🤦🏽 Now, the 10 pound chainsaw got wedged solid in the branch that was 90% cut and would not budge, no matter how much I tried to wiggle it.

After much thought and safety planning (which should have been done before I started wielding the chainsaw like a horror movie villain), I went back out with a step ladder, some twine and a steel bow saw. Once freed from the branch, I knew that the chainsaw would come crashing down to the ground or even land on me. So, I safely tied it up to another branch with the twine. Next, I positioned the ladder across from the chainsaw and cut through the remaining branch gently. After a few minutes of this, the branch gave way and the chainsaw was freed. I was very pleased that the twine held up quite well… even though it did come dangerously close to me, like a pendulum, and almost turned me Jewish! 😊

Thank god (actually Home Depot!) for giving me these powerful tools to play with, so that I can pretend to be useful around the house! Thankfully I was also bestowed with just enough wisdom to use them safely and wisely and not risk chopping any limbs off (or give myself an unintended bris! 😊)

It sucks!

As soon as I got my first job in 1985 (straight out of college), my first big purchase was a car! A brand new 1985 Toyota Corolla. I paid $10000 for it. Guess what the next big purchase was?

I rented a one bedroom furnished apartment in Hiawatha area of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Within a week, I realized that I needed to buy a vacuum cleaner in a hurry, as the cheap carpet was turning dirty and that small space was quickly beginning to give out the feel of a Greyhound Bus station waiting room. So, I went to the only large electronics store in Cedar Rapids (It may have been called Best or even Best Buy) and picked one up purely based on the popularity of the brand: Panasonic!

Start of my modeling career for consumer electronics! 😊

I had no idea that Panasonic made vacuum cleaners. Later on, I found out that they were into every form of consumer electronics. Among the more unconventional products of Panasonic that I owned over the years – an electronic typewriter (which I had purchased in 1987, just to type up my resume, for the 2^nd job) and a rice cooker! Of course, the most popular one is the cordless phone, with a built-in speakerphone and an answering machine. Over the years, I must have bought 10 such phones for myself and as gifts (especially to family in India).

The vacuum cleaner was relatively quiet and did a fantastic job with the floors: both carpeted or vinyl (no wood or tiles in those days, where I lived). Back then my most prized worldly possessions were – the aforementioned Corolla, a 19″ Sony Trinitron TV and this Panasonic vacuum cleaner. I moved from Cedar Rapids, Iowa to Ames, and then a year later to Allentown, Pennsylvania with these and a suitcase full of clothes! Over these 40 years – I lived in 5 apartments and 2 houses. Not once did this trusty little vacuum cleaner stop sucking! Along the way we bought a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner because of the much touted hoses and nozzles that it came with. That one lasted less than 2 years and we had to get rid of it, as it started giving out a burnt plastic smell.

It’s amazing that this one from 1985 is still chugging along and taking care of the toughest cleaning jobs without a single repair in all of these 40 years! Hats off to Panasonic for making such a reliable product! I wonder if we can convince Panasonic to bring that same robustness into other areas such as – Soap dispensers in public restrooms, crumbling roads/bridges and shoring up fragile, teetering democracies! It’s worth asking, right? 🤷🏼😊

Phule

(pronounced foo-lay)

Movie : Phule (in Theaters) – Hindi with English Subtitles

IMDB : 8.2

It was a “first day-first show” for me!

For $12, I had the entire 200 seat hall to myself!

It would have been even better if they served some “chai and biskoot” (I am not really an “popcorn and soda” type guy).

I am so glad that I made the trip to New Jersey for this movie! It was so educational and inspirational! I had not heard about the Phules, till recently. It’s a shame that the great work done by these social reformers was not well publicized. Maybe it’s just me being ignorant of our history…

I loved how a historical cross-reference was given throughout the movie, in order to give a context to the world they lived in. For e.g. – they were only a few decades away from the French revolution; Abraham Lincoln was the president in the US. The US civil war and subsequent abolition of slavery happened right in front of their eyes (figuratively); All of these (along with Thomas Paine’s writings) had a profound influence on Mahatma Jyotiba and Savitribai Phule! The fact that they zeroed in on the need for educating the young ones – especially girls, that too under the oppressive circumstances of that time – highlights the mental fortitude of the couple!

I did know a bit about Anandibai Joshi (1st woman doctor from India, who got her MD from Women’s Medical college of Pennsylvania in 1886), who was also from the state of Maharashtra and is contemporaneous with the Phules. Her biography also details some of the horrors meted out against her and women in general of that time – who dared to step out and step up! You can well imagine the treatment of the lower caste Phules at that time. This was depicted very well in the movie!

Acting by the leads – Pratik Gandhi and Patralekha Paul – was excellent! Same with Vinay Pathak and Joy Sengupta! Darsheel Safary (of Taare Zameen Par) – doesn’t have much of a role to display his acting chops. The few songs/music didn’t do much for me.

Do watch it to learn about these great souls who dedicated their lives for the betterment of society, against incredible odds!

Don’t watch “Adolescence”…

It’s possible that I may be a couple of weeks too late with this warning…

By now everyone has watched or at least heard about the hugely successful British series on Netflix. It feels like this is being discussed on every chat group. Even I have written a quick review after watching it and being blown away by its brilliance. On thinking through, I realized that it is not for everyone. It definitely is not a date night show! Take it from me – someone who took his wife to “Schindler’s list” on our wedding anniversary! 🤦🏽

I wanted to essentially redo my review with this disclaimer:

Don’t watch “Adolescence” expecting…

to be entertained
flashy fight sequences or police chases
melodramatic cliffhangers at the end of every episode – thereby making you want to binge watch episode after episode.
any kind of comedy
no religion or politics or sex
to see the good guys and bad guys put into clearly demarcated boxes
a closure in the form of a neatly tied up story

“Adolescence” covers the “why” aspect of crime that we routinely see in our news these days. It’s presented from the point of view of the accused and his family as opposed to that of the victim. The writing is super brilliant. Acting is mind-blowing, and so is the cinematography – which is surprising, considering that it’s not a story or theme that naturally lends itself to such! I predict it will sweep the awards in all 3 of these categories. Every single actor, whether it’s for the main characters or for bit roles, has lived in their characters so well that it felt like we were actually peeking in on real life happening in front of us.

Masterful performance by Owen Cooper and Stephen Graham

I am not usually a fan of heavy stuff. Those that know me well know that I am more of an “Airplane”, “Naked Gun” or “History of the World” type guy! But I was totally blown away by this serious themed short series (only 4 episodes).

The single-take approach they used for the series was fascinating and gave us a feel of actually being right there observing real-life drama! By the end of the series, I was feeling like an amateur cinematographer, who figured out where the camera was placed for a particular scene and when and how it transitioned to the drone etc. However, as tempting as it was, I had to watch myself from being the amateur psychologist who has it all figured out – the kids’ minds, how the parents, teachers and the psychologist should’ve handled the situations differently or better. Clearly the complex interplay of various factors influencing a child’s behavior defy simple and straightforward explanations.

I strongly recommend it! As I mentioned before, it is not entertaining but it is definitely thought-provoking. Watch it to understand the impact of social media, bullying and parenting on kids. I especially recommend it to parents of kids in schools (from elementary to high school). It exposes us to the kind of pressures that kids endure routinely these days. Since social media is all-pervasive, no country’s people are immune from its ill-effects. I am happy to see this series (and topics like peer pressure, bullying and parenting) being discussed in chatrooms worldwide.

But, it is definitely not for everyone!